girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
