apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
