Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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