I love black thongs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Man, jail baloney is awful.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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