you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
