I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
