just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
