called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
