you guys were way drunker than both of me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
