So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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