Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
