Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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