So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
