I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
