Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
