My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
