We named our party play list daddy issues
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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