I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
