Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
