I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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