You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
