i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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