well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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