We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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