I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
