I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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