I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
