Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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