Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
