More tranny stories later!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
