big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
