if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
