After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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