He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
