There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
