The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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