she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
