Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
