I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
