WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
