Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
