We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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