the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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