why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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