Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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