Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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