um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
