there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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