Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
