no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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